Thoughts of a Non-Runner During a Run

Posted on April 10, 2014 at 2:29 pm by

Bottom line…I hate cardio. Okay, I don’t hate cardio, I hate running. But I like to keep my body guessing and randomly go running instead of doing a HIIT routine sometimes. I think that running is important so I don’t neglect it even though I usually want to.

Today I thought it would be fun if I shared some of the thoughts that go through my head while I’m running.

Thoughts of a Non-Runner

 

“Why did I wear my hair in a bun? Buns never stay during a run. I should’ve done a ponytail. I guess I HAVE to stop and take a break to take the bun out and change it to a ponytail…”

“I kind of have to pee. I’m only like 5 minutes away from the house. Maybe I should just turn around. It’s only gonna get worse. Or I can find a bush to pee behind. But that’s not socially acceptable. Plus I don’t have any toilet paper. Holding it, it is…”

“I really should’ve worn pants. My butt is eating these shorts, I can feel it. They keep getting higher and every time I yank at them a car passes by and sees me picking a wedgie. Fail…”

“I’m hungry. Maybe I should just jog to my parents and have a snack and then have my Mom drive me home…”

“That guy has been going the same way as me for like a minute. I know he’s following me. There’s no way he’s just exercising. I’m going to end up on the news as a missing person. I hope he sees this pink taser that I’m holding. I will shock a bitch…”

“Okay I’ll run to that pole down there and then take a break. *Makes it halfway to pole* “I’ll just take a break now and run longer once I pass the pole…”

“I wonder if the people I’m passing on the sidewalk can hear how heavily I’m breathing. I really need to run more so that I don’t sound like a broken vacuum cleaner…”

“I’m a personal trainer. I can run 3 miles without stopping…set, go. I’ve got this. Find a good pace. Screw this I’m going back to the house to lift weights…”

And now you’ve been in my head while I’m running! I left out the Luke Bryan lyrics that I belt out…you’re welcome (; On a serious note…I honestly do think running is important and when I do go, I suck it up and always feel great when I get home.

But still…don’t put me down for cardio.

xo, Jess

 

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7 Comments

  • Jessie says:

    I’m the opposite. I hate lifting weights and love running but have finally figured out that half marathons won’t get rid of cellulite. I’m trying to find love in weights…..I’m just not there yet.

  • Alexis Meacham says:

    So glad to know that I’m not the only one that has some of these thoughts! Even personal trainers are worried they sound like vacuum cleaners! Woohoo!

  • Rachel Emily says:

    For real though…this is exactly what it sounds like in my head. Plus song lyrics that I am fully mouthing the ENTIRE time. People probably think I’m a nut case. We have to make it fun so we do it though, right?!

  • Whitney says:

    So I am a runner and I still think all of these things during most of my runs until I get past 3 miles. Once I pass 3, it’s usually fun. Usually.

  • Megan says:

    Oh man that was us today. First time running for cardio in forever. It sucked. Definitely thought about the hair bun and the butt eaten pants while I was going.

  • Ashley says:

    Yes! All of those. Every time.

  • Rachel Neben says:

    OMG! These are the thoughts that go through my head as well. I am just starting a running routine and it is so hard! One thing that has helped me so far is to listen to an audiobook. I tend to talk to myself less and just keep running if I am really into a story; it keeps my brain occupied.

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